Southpaw Defeats Arch-Rival The People 5-4

Shaky Pitching In 7th But Lefties Hold On For the Win

-Keith Olberman
NBC Sports.com

The Southpaw Lefties defeated their arch rival's the People this past Thursday in Brooklyn's Prospect Park. Left fielder Matty "Babes" Roff sealed the 5-4 victory by running down a shot into deep left-center and also gunned out a greedy People runner at second trying to stretch a single into a double earlier in the game. "What can I say, I'm awesome" said Roff after the game, "(Pat) Fondiller's lucky he has me out there 'cause he sucks!" he added without even remotely a hint of sarcasm. "Roff's right, I suck!" said Fondiller who loaded the bases in the game's final frame and walked in the People's 4th run before giving up a long drive that easily could have been a game ending grand slam, the very drive that Roff ran down to save the game. "but Roff's a douche!" Fondiller went on to say.

The victory lifted Southpaw to a 5-4 victory and the team now stands at 4-3 on the year, rebounding from the 35-1 ass whooping at the hands of the Renegades on July 4th weekend. When asked to comment on his team's victory, Southpaw's manager Patty "Dooks" Fondiller" (no relation to pitcher Pat Fondiller) said "We lost to the Renegades 35-1, there is no way out of this doghouse!"